Starting new medication is scary.
I finally have health insurance, I found the one doctor within a twenty five mile radius that takes it and today I saw him with my laundry list of issues.
I walked out of there with a prescription for Lexapro, Xanax, Prilosec and Colace. Throw in the fact that I got my Depo shot two weeks ago, my daily Claritin and my tendency to take an aspirin whenever I start thinking about blood clots and you've got one crazily medicated chick.
The Depo frightened me because it's three months of birth control in one go - once it's in, you can't take it back. Truth be told, I've actually been pleasantly surprised by it. My sex drive is reminiscent of when I was in high school, my mood has seemed to pick up and my weight is still going slowly down. My acne's been a little worse but that's a small price to pay for 99.9% effective contraceptive that I don't need to think about for a quarter of the year.
Now it's the Lexapro that's making me nervous. I'm no stranger to SSRIs or mood altering drugs in general. That said, other than Celexa, I've never really had a good time on any of them. Starting with my insane mood stabilizers/anti-depressants/anti-anxiety trio I was prescribed as a teen ranging to a weird allergic reaction to Paxil causing my eyelids to swell, even the brain zaps when I was coming off of the generally good Celexa (still the most bizarre sensation I've ever experienced), I feel I've earned the right to be apprehensive.
It's kind of ridiculous, really, being 23 and having such a significant number of pills to take daily that I'm planning on putting them in a container with slots for each day, AM and PM. Sure, I really want to stop obsessing over death and I'm done just grimacing my way through daily nausea and constipation but I can't help but worry about the long term effects of being on all these drugs.
Plus the first few days on an SSRI can be tough. I'm trying not to psyche myself out too much since thinking something will happen tends to turn it into reality but I'm really hoping to avoid the increased anxiety, nausea, all the usual junk that acts as your "welcome to being medicated! It probably won't be like this forever but you don't really believe that right now!"
I'm going to focus on instead how totally wrong my expectations were of how my body would react to the Depo shot and comfort myself knowing that minus my smoking and relative inactivity, I'm still a pretty healthy twenty something woman whose done this before so I can definitely do it again with little to no problems.